Day 13

This morning my mum received a call telling us to rush over to the hospital because “things don’t look good”.

I have an exam at 10AM.

When we arrived, we were told that his condition has been worsening for the past few days. About a few days ago, the doctors had to put dad back on sedation because his breathing and pressure is all over the place. His fever has increased to 39 degrees, and that stupid pneumonia thing is going to kill him.

So around 7AM, he just suddenly gave up. He has gone into a heart arrest twice within the hour. By that alone, the doctors are already telling us that it means chances of survivability isn’t too good. They used the defibrillator on him once which btw, looked even scarier IRL than on television. They said both his lungs are stiff, and he can’t breathe. They had to do a 4th op on him (“procedure” they call it, but it’s an operation to me anyways) to make the medication go straight into his blood vessels. The medication supposedly works by drawing all the blood around the body to concentrate around the heart to make it pump. Now he is using 100% support from the pump thingy to breathe, and he is at the max level of medication they can use on him.

I was forced to go back to take my exams, but I was so afraid that he might be gone when I do my stupid paper. But the school was near, and it’s just 35 MCQ. So I reluctantly went with a super heavy heart. I thought I held myself pretty well, but I guess the moment I touched down next to my classmates, I just broke down lol.

When I could finally rush back to the hospital, things were “stabilised”. That just meant that he’s barely alive with max support from everything. We have a mini Liew dynasty going on, basically grandmother and dad’s 2 siblings (the 3rd one is still hiding in Malaysia) and all the grandchildren came. My uncle and aunt from my mum’s side couldn’t help but comment that all the grandchildren look so strikingly similar to our Liew side. It’s the nose I tell you. The flat non-existent nose I dislike so much.

Eventually they all had to go, but mum and I decided to stay back. You know, the whole “Just in case he gives up, at least he didn’t die alone.” I know a lot of people asked us if we were prepared for the worst, but honestly I don’t know how you want us to answer it. We’re probably as mentally prepared as we can be, and yet still not enough? Idk. The only good thing is that we aren’t like other family cases whereby we depend fully on the father to survive. That would be disastrous.

His blood pressure and breathing just keeps decreasing. He might really not make it. I came back to freshen up (I was starting to have a runny nose + sneezing nonstop), and probably try to deal with tomorrow’s exam. My mum’s going to go back to the hospital later on, and I will be on standby.

When I said I want less drama to write about him, I didn’t meant this /flop

Now my grandmother and aunt are demanding that we get rid of the dog cus it’s gonna bark my father’s soul away every time he tries to come back. And throw away a lot of his prized belongings. I have to unplug all the phones in the house.

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