And I only drove this car for exactly 60 days /cry
About two nights ago, while I was driving back home, some shitty metal rod/nail thing went through my tyre. I was in a rather deserted area at that time, well, there were like one or two cars every 15 mins or so, but it was deserted enough to have mongrels walking out from their hiding place to look at me. Believe me, it wasn’t very comforting to see them be so daring about it. Anyways, I stopped by a bus stop where there is more light, and idk why but I made sure that the lamp post near it had a security camera fixed to it. Just in case if something drastic happened to me, at least it got recorded down.
Also, before I continue, lemme just say that I’m very upset that I’m getting all these unfortunate things happening to me day after the other. From the mysterious jam on Friday, the plumbing system and lights in my house failing on Saturday, the electronic safe failing + the really shitty people in the concert on Sunday, to my taobao loot missing + dead tyre on Monday..
Still waiting for my stuff to arrive so that I can start talking about happy stuff in my blog lol.
Significant happenings in my life:
I topped up for an iphone4s!
I figured it’s about time since the 3gs is getting very wonky. It keeps turning the volume up and down for no apparent reason, which scared me because I thought my headphones/sound system in the car had problems. And then there’s the huge lag + multiple crashes generally. My friends and I have been playing with Siri just for the novelty of it, and I guess Siri doesn’t understand Singaporean English lol. It understands us better if set to US English compared to UK English, but still not good enough. There have been a few amusing answers to our queries, but I think the funniest parts were all the mistranslations of our words.
I do not want to be one of those who act as if they are suffering the most (and thus you need to understand and pardon them for their selfish actions, and have to constantly ~massage~ their stupid ego), and I hope that in my entire life, I’ll never behave like one.
Different people deal with situations differently, but I think it’s normal for people to desire feedback and interaction from others no matter what. I would like people to show signs that I matter to them. A form of acknowledgement to my existence, what I’m proud of, and what matters to me. And if I could, I hope that whatever I do for my friends could make them feel the same sense of contentment whenever I receive such feelings.
I have seen people who ask directly for comments, and I think it’s fine. But when it comes to fishing for compliments and sympathy, it annoys me to no end. And it’s people like these that will make me feel like a hypocrite because I end up having the urge to do some fishing. And then I get very frustrated with myself for even thinking about it ._. I should just solve this all by having these people out of my life.
Now that I let that part out, I feel so much better.
All the air conditioners in the house broke down. The one that’s functioning the best is the one in my dad’s room, but even a fan is much better than that hot-air blowing thing. Just a few hours ago, the repairman for the aircon in my mum’s room came. After he fixed it and left, it gave off this lifesaving cool breeze for a few minutes before it went kaput again :/ I can’t wait for Friday to come where the repairmen for my aircon comes over.
In an attempt to take my mind off the heat (omg I’m dyinggggg I’m turning madddddd), I shall try to work on the rori meme surf taobao more /shot.
I drove O< My first epic driving adventure was to go to Central at Clarke Quay. Jasmine helped me checked the maps, and it was her virgin map reading experience LOL. We took 2 detours after exiting the expressway because we were on the wrong lane to turn, but whatever, we did it \o/ And parking at the multi-storey carpark was uneventful save for the screaming we did when we had to continuously go up 5 levels of circling.
And to make it even more dangerous, we drove to Admiralty during peak hour. And then back to Khatib. We got lost so many times LOL.
But I can conclude that I don’t want the car. Driving it alone is so.. gloomy.
I’ve talked to my mother about it, and we decided to sell the car for good. Her only priority is that it’s smaller, so I’m left to do the whole choosing car part. And sob, I don’t know how to go about it. I don’t even know what to look out for. Mum mentioned picanto, but that’s cus it’s the only car she knows of. I’ll be needing a lot of help with this.
Today will be the 7th day. We’re gonna huddle up and sleep together LOL.
I’m handling things a lot better than I expected, but at the same time, I’m still very surprised at how I can easily cry over the smallest thought of him. I can be very happy when I want to be because after the cremation, it felt like there was a bigger sense of closure =D (more…)
My dad planned it nicely. I don’t need to skip school for all this. After today’s exam, I’ll be on a 2 week break. And I’m sorry to my friend, but I’ll need to postpone the horse riding class. It really sucks because it’s been delayed for 4 weeks already. And I really wanted to resume classes soon.
11 August 2011, my dad passed away at 0220.
I’m sorry, but I’m not planning on saying anything about this to anyone unless needed for the wake (idk what to expect). To those who know of this blog, sorry and thank you for having to deal with 13 days of such entries with me. Since I have not done any sort of announcement about my dad being hospitalised other than that time where I panicked in the ambulance (via twitter), I understand that a lot of people close to me are unaware of what’s happening, but I really don’t see any sort of fitting moment where I can just go “btw my dad just got a major stroke and is not waking up/passed away.” Feel free to inform whoever you see fit to know about this.
Surprise! No day 11 log! Not because he woke up, but rather, it’s an uneventful “nothing’s changed” day, so in a way, I’m glad it’s not as dangerously adventurous as the previous days. But well, still difficulty in breathing, fever, lung infection, ya.
I’m so put off with today. Was looking forward to horse riding, but first, the stupid bus broke down like in the middle of nowhere while it was heavily raining. I gave up waiting for the next bus and tried to walk along the bus path while trying to get a cab. And all the time I had this super angsty face going on lol. By the time I got on a cab and arrived there, it’s 10:20 already. And then the person by the reception?
“Huh? I told you lesson’s cancelled.”
The fuck?! Apparently she informed Ivory but didn’t informed me because she assumed we’re together. akjhsdfkjshdf so if I sign up in a 6 students class, you also going to assume that we all live together travel together sleep together issit?!
Lesson from 10AM got shifted to 4PM. That’s 5 hours of killing time. Even if we did want to go home or somewhere, the rain was too heavy to drive.
(Later on 4PM’s class was also cancelled because the training grounds weren’t fit for riding. RAWR.)
Trying to get a much much bigger layout. I can’t stand the tiny space for text haha. Fiddling with random layouts, though I really should be focusing on something like a custom header, but for some reason, I find selecting pictures to be realllly taxing.
I’m finally done with school lessons \o/ One more lesson on Monday, then 2 exams by Thursday, and yaaaaay 2 weeks of well deserved holidays.
I’m telling myself to blog about other things too. To sort of focus on other things going on around me other than my dad.
I’m looking forward to Sunday’s horseriding. I have a feeling that my body will not listen to me at all though, and I’ll just end up bruising my legs in order to desperately keep my feet in the stirrup while trotting. Annnnnd I’ll probably take ages to lift my leg up the stirrup in order to mount. As much as I find it stressing to trot Bob /bricked, I think mounting is just as stressful (just more short-term lol), second being taking the horse to the training grounds (they never listen!!!!!). No matter how high I lift my leg with my hands, it’s always never enough. I resorted to do this little tiptoe skip in order to get the tip of my boot barely on the stirrup, and then without pausing, I grab the saddle and jump like mad to get the momentum again to mount. Maybe that’s why Bob hates me.
And no matter how much I try to measure the stirrups to suit me, I never get it right somehow, and then I’ll just feel very stupid letting my instructor adjust it for me orz. Then I wish he would have just adjusted them to be even shorter so that it’s easier to post lol
I saw that each hole along the belt of the stirrup thing had numbers. I remember my previous one was a 10. I’ll probably adjust it back to that number.. and then let my instructor adjust again as he see fit (and memorise the number!) lol.
To bring down his fever, they put this slab of ice under his bed, so his body is ice cold. My mother and I commented that it’s like Yang Guo’s cold jade bed lol. But even with the cold jade bed, his fever remains at 39 degrees. His breathing is so so so low, we’re talking 50 low. blood pressure going up and down. And he’s starting to cough. Everything’s just looking so bad.
I think it’s good that my mother still has a friend to talk to about it, though I wish that he would just stop asking my mum to think about what would her decision be should things happen, and you know, the whole “let him live and pray for a miracle, or end his suffering?” shit. I don’t care if you want my mother to start mentally preparing herself in advance. I think it’s unhealthy for her to keep thinking about this.
And then he can conveniently hang up before he has to experience what I call my mum’s panic mode. It’s just making everything worse. What if she starts developing illness after illness and can’t sleep because she thinks about it too much? Who do you think is going to suffer from this stupid talk. The two of us. Not you.
Short logs of what happened on each day. Have been visiting him after school. It’s a lot easier for me to talk about him now, especially since all I need to do is to tell people his condition matter-of-factly. No more ~emotional~ entries from now on haha.